Chicken Lil'

After a bunch of convincing and a need to stop some lying-on-the-couch boredom, I went and watched Skyfall. I'm not one for reviews, but I'm still bored, so I'm going to write this, which isn't so much a review, anyway, as it's more my own experience and observances. If you don't want to read on and have your time wasted, on a scale of 1 to 10 I give it a "S'Aight" and on the At the Movies scale of thumbs I give it the Fonz, two thumbs out a little more up than halfway, Eyyyyyy.

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I'd been getting word that this movie is amazing. Every voice was saying this from people who don't really like action movies to the people who believe the hype and rave about every major blockbuster; from people whose opinions on movies I respect to people whose movie recommendations I will make a point to avoid completely (like the movies they love I won't even waste time watching and I do NOTHING except waste time). So, I'm going into this expecting the mediocre. It's better than that, but, maybe it was my lack of wanting to do anything with my life today, it didn't blow me away like the blowing everyone who's raving about this movie got. I ain't hating(!), but like I said, it was aight.

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This was my first time using the Run Pee app, which has gone unused for far too long. This thing, for my small bladder bredren, works beautifully. It gives you a little timer that you start at a given cue point (like for this they were like, "Start when the MGM lion roars"). If you're prepared enough and don't mind reading what's going to happen, each pee point is given a little run down of the scene you should be expecting to see when you need to start getting up. It's discreet and gives you little buzz notifications of, "yo, get to peeing" and "I hope urine your seat" (my words. the app just buzzes like you got a message and your phone's on silent).
At one point I doubted it and skipped my opportunity. Had I gone when I wanted to, though, I would've missed one of my favourite parts of the movie (I'll get to that in like a minute). Luckily, I was just testing things, didn't actually have to pee, and enjoyed watching.

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I forgot how great James Bond opening sequences are; opening sequences are generally pretty rad. This one is straight up visually appealing; it keeps in line with the classics; it does great things with the kaleidoscope effect (which has gotten super annoying with people who've just discovered this effect on their Macs).
It fucked with me though. It was fun to watch throughout the movie how it truly lays out stuff that happens, but more than once I was asking, "what the fuck?" The Chinese dragons? The deer? It seriously looked like the aforementioned people on their Macs and whoever did this sequence had some mad ADD. With a sigh of relief, it all came to make sense.

This sequence also made me privy to the not so private title track. I'd avoided Adele's song, for really no reason besides, I guess, disinterest. I like Adele; I like James Bond themes; should equate to a proper track. I think I just saw too much praise on this song and as a non-believer of hype I steered clear. I'm kind of glad I did (a little because I like believing I make the best decisions but mostly...) because it completely did what it was meant to do. When a song is specifically written for a movie and it's heard in that exact moment that it was created for, it's like a perfect moment in time. The Bond horns chiming in to make you tune in and get ready for the adventure you're about to take part in; her big voice echoing over the orchestra; the slow build and rollling tone that let you choose whether to just watch the opening sequence, solely keep your ears alert, or just put it all together and enjoy all were just on point. I straight up got chills (and I don't get excited about much). Well done. [I think I may be ruining the possibility of this same experience for some people in the next room as I listen to the track on repeat right now]

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Though in one conversation tonight I said my spirit animal is an octopus, I have on two occasions said my spirit animal is the komodo dragon. Sure, I was told that was second grade-ish, but yo, that's almost about when I gained a place in my heart for the lizard. So, this part was pretty awesome to me. I won't spoil the movie with any details other than it was pretty great.

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SPOILER ALERT!!!

As the opening sequence does with things like places they go, the whole movie pretty much gives away everything that's going to happen. It's way too thinly veiled too! That's kind of my only real problem with the movie.

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I kind of feel there could've been more of a lot of stuff: more Bond girl, more Javier Bardem, more gadget-y things (and not hipster Q pretty much saying, "gadgets, you ask? over them...")

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I know nothing about cars. Apparently though, EVERY dude in this theater loved cars. Especially Bond cars. Ok, I'm ruining this scene for you, but whatever it's not that big a deal [most of you haven't read this far anyway].

Scene:
Shady garage with secret vehicle -
Bond reaches down and lifts garage door -
Classic Bond Aston Martin is revealed.

Theatre reaction:
Every dude but me: UNNNNHHHH yeeeeeahhhhh [car boners!!!!!]

I felt violated but laughed at the sincere collective appreciation of what was just shown to them.

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All in all, a nice enough time out. Enjoyable. Dug.
If you got through this, thanks for reading and it's nice to know there are people who waste time in lamer ways than me [see because you're reading this, this which I wrote to waste time. Time Waste game Human Centipede]